Darshan On Bhajan Awaiting Eagerly
June 05, 1977 am
The title of the bhajan is “Awaiting Eagerly.” The mind of man is filled with many different desires. The scriptures say that these desires are the cause of the darkness, or the suffering. Because these desires create, or force us into the actions, and these actions are creating the good actions, and bad actions.
By having a close look at this, we derive one principle. This principle is that our actions are the reason of our bondage, are the cause of our bondage. Then we also derive another principle from it, too. If karma, or our actions is the cause of our bondage, then the karma could become the cause of our freedom too.
Now, I will explain this principle, with an anecdote. Suppose we ask one individual to stand near the pillar, and we tie him with the rope. We tie him by going seven times around him. Now if you want to free him, you will have to go seven times but in anti clockwise (direction).
Then there are two kinds of karma, one form of karma is called activity. Another form is called non-activity. One binds; the other one frees. If you want to be free from these desires, then you have to create new desires, and should create new actions. But the direction of these new desires should be different. Then only the direction of your karma could be changed.
You can also explain it in this way; that every individual is extrovert, outgoing. And that is activity. Then if the same energy could be transformed to go within, and that is non-activity, even if it appears to be activity.
This devotee has one desire, and that is, he is desiring to see the Lord, and he wants to merge into him. But he finds the darkness, in all sides, and he cannot find the path or direction anywhere. So he feels that he is on this shore, and beloved God is on the other shore.
He is imagining about Krishna, and so also, associated with Krishna, the land of Gokul, and the river Jamuna. He says that, “Between us two, there is the river Jamuna. I am on this bank; you are on the opposite bank. And the river is very deep. I can’t find any way to get across this river.”
So the devotee says that “My heart is burning in the fire of separation, and my eyes are shedding the tears, continuously.” The width of the river is so wide that he cannot swim across this river. Under such circumstances, he has to take the help of the boat.
But there is not a single boat here. And from where he could cross the river, there is no one neither male nor female to assist him. It is all quiet and lonely, everywhere. So he says that “My heart is burning in the flames of separation, and my eyes are filled with the tears.”
Really, the path of moksha, the path of complete liberation is like this. You always go through the same situation separation. In this path, the worldly man and the one who desires moksha, means, the highest liberation, they both are standing on the same side of the river. On the same bank of the river. And yet, there is a difference between the two. They are standing far apart from each other.
On the side of the worldly people, there is a big crowd of males and females. But on the same bank, far away is standing one individual alone. He is the one who is seeking the highest. He sees, that the moonlight at night is really spreading the cool light everywhere.
In spite of this coolness, that the moon is spreading, the heart which is burning, in separation, receives no coolness. Even when the night is gone, and the entire sky is filled with light once again, and yet, the pain of suffering, and the tears are not gone.
The state of separation from the beloved Lord, is considered to be a very special condition. And there is a special word for it which is called yoga of separation Viyog. (sp) [Gurudev: that means ‘meeting in separation] It so happens, that the devotees, in the beginning, when they experience this separation, they do not consider it to be good, because, in that, there is nothing else, other than the tremendous amount of pain of separation. In that condition, the day and night become one.
Means, he cannot sleep at night, and during the day, he cannot stay awake, because he does not like the separation. To him, at the earlier stage, the union feels more happy. And yet, the value of separation is more than the value of union, at this stage. Why so?
In Sanyog (sp) means union, the beloved one is very close to you. As a result, the mind remains balanced, peaceful and quiet. If the beloved goes from one room to the other, there is no pain of separation, and yet, isn’t there a separation there?
Then in this viyog, means separation, there is a special separation, means, special meeting happens in this separation. In that, there is not even a separation, not even for a moment, because the beloved is constantly in your heart.
There is no separation in separation. Because, in that condition, there is constant remembrance of the beloved. He is not separated at all, from his eyes, from his heart, from his whole being, at all. From his memory, at all. Then, really, the separation from the beloved should be considered to be the highest, because it keeps him the closest. Bapuji says that the mistake that the separation is bad, is not understood, until you have really received the true union. This is why devotees try very hard to remove the separateness and try to be one.
Do you really believe that you can attain to God in one incarnation? No. It is not so. For that, you have to go through many, many incarnations. For ages and ages, you have to keep waiting for the Lord, for the beloved. That condition of waiting for God, is called sadhana. And this union is the end of sadhana. [Gurudev: But we desire end of sadhana first. ] There should be the thirst for the Lord’s darshan, for many incarnations. There should be eagerness to receive him and meet him.
It is natural that as long as that final meeting is not there that one’s heart will burn or one will suffer from the pain and the flames of separation. And the eyes will continuously shed the tears for the Lord, the beloved one.
Lord never fails to help in any painful situation. Lord has given us the mind. In that the imaginations are created. Those imaginations quite often help us in the painful situations.
[Gurudev: means they are very acute and clear.]
In the painful situation, even when it is not actually imposed on you, and yet, the imagination soars high, and materializes it. And so, the mind receives some solace. And at such a time, when we receive the help through that imagination, that should be called the grace of the Lord.
This devotee who is suffering from the pain of separation, he cannot go across the river. Neither can he swim, nor can he have the boat. At such time, the grace of God descends upon him, in the form of that imagination. And he imagines that, “Suppose I have two wings, and I have it. Then, if I fly, and if I reach to my beloved, just flying, and be with him, how beautiful it would be. “As a result of this imagination of being with his Lord, his heart is now quieted, and filled with peace, and his tears stop, and he enjoys the bliss of union.
There are two types of boldness. One is immediate boldness; and another one is thoughtful boldness, or imaginative. Any individual can be very bold, and commit suicide. In the condition of separation, you constantly think of suicide. But one who commits suicide is truly, truly not a devotee. But one who dies while alive, is the true devotee. I have written one sentence on my diary. “One who dies, while alive, is the yogi.”
This is Bapuji’s diary. On the first page, Bapuji his written, “One who dies while alive, is the yogi.” Not the one who commits suicide because he can’t suffer the pain of separation. To die, by taking a dagger in your body, or taking the poison in your system, is very simple, very easy. There is no boldness. It is a weakness. Then the real test is in dying alive. May the Lord give us all the power, the grace, to die alive. Now the explanation of bhajan ends.
Bapuji chants “Shankara Bolo” and pranams.
Bapuji says, I thought of something very interesting. One devotee has told to the Lord while emptying his heart, ” My Lord, when you become happy with someone, what is it you give him in return?” When Lord is pleased with this devotee’s experience, you give him the separation constantly, pain constantly, the remembrance constantly. That is how you grow closer to him. You cannot attain to the Lord by one moment of separation. One moment of pain from Him, and one pain of disturbance is not enough. You have to wait for it. We should desire, Lord, give me such pain such suffering that I can come closer to you.
I have suffered that for 27 years and yet I know that it is the one which gives me supreme bliss too.
Chant: God of Kali Yuga, not by Bapuji